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17 November 2009 @ 12:14 pm
Characters: Lizzie and Ciel
Fandom: Kuro!

c i e l tal:He's getting bored of this conversation.

Ciel you're growing again, I think we should take you to that tailor. Is that okay Ciel? He just nodded, feeling uncomfortable without his butler while he was in public. His fiance, Alexandra, constantly did this to him. She would boss him around, then stare at him with too big chestnut eyes (he would always see green, no matter what) as he just eyed each and every one of her imperfections. Her nose was too small, her shoulders were too broad for a girl, she had freckles on all the wrong places of her body.

Today she was trying to convince him to buy himself and her more clothes, like she also convinced him to leave the butler at home. Sebastian agreed of course, he wants to strangle him right now, but there's nothing he can do about that now.

"You have the prettiest eyes Ciel." She leans closer to him...

He leaned back, blinking once. "They're my mom's eyes. You should be complimenting her."
"She's dead Ciel, they're your eyes now sweetie." He cringed, she gives him a kiss on the forehead while he's left twiddling with a ring he never wanted but was forced to have. Alexandra grabs his hand and smiles, like there was nothing wrong in the world (he always saw her smile and he always saw green and he always saw--)

He is seeing green but he's not seeing her smile...

Suddenly he finds himself staring at someone in the crowd of people, somehow he can't tear himself away. He remembers the green in that girl's eyes, it was Elizabeth's (Lizzie, it's Lizzie) green. He can only stay there in one spot--

Ciel you're being slow again--!

He tears away from his fiance's hand.

l i z z i e :Her mother would always write the same thing, even say the same thing when she would visit. "Elizabeth, you should be at home with your father and I, not here." But it didn't matter. Her father stopped caring somewhere between the days they had thought Elizabeth was dead , her mother had given up hope, and Elizabeth had grown up somewhere along the way. City life was all she knew now, it was all she could get along with. She wanted to stay in the city because here she could be invisible, here she could be unknown and unseen. She wouldn't have been stuck in a too-large house where everyone knew here and everyone fussed and worried over her and where, most of all, she would be alone. Of course, she was alone in the city but it wasn't like it was when she had been back at her mansion for the weeks after she had been found - alive - and brought back.

Her mother was so happy, her father feigned joy, and Elizabeth was well... Elizabeth wasn't really Elizabeth anymore, though she would still be polite and courteous and all the things she was raised to be. Never once did her family mention Ciel, however, and that was okay with her... She didn't want Ciel to see her like this, not now, not ever, really. She didn't want him to know she was alive, she wanted him to move on with his life. She had already caused him so much grief, she was sure. He didn't deserve anymore.

But she knew about how he couldn't "rescue" her, how she was stuck. And how no one else knew where she was but him. But after a time, she was assumed dead, and that was alright with her... It'd be easier for her family right? And easier for Ciel...?

She shakes her head to dispel the thought and steps back from one of the glass windows that were displaying many brightly colored dresses. She didn't wear bright colors any more, only muted ones, as if she were afraid that the bright pinks and reds and oranges she favored would draw attention to herself. Just like she had stopped wearing her hair in pig tails a few months after she had been kidnapped, like she had stopped dreaming of princesses and unicorns and Ciel. Though she still wore the ring he gave her. She still yearned-
for him, missed him, cried over him...

She glanced over her shoulder and she found she was looking in a familiar face, one that was entirely too grown up and too painful. She wanted to block it out but her mind was screaming at her that it was Ciel. Ciel looking so shocked and confused, Ciel with another woman at his side, Ciel who had grown up with out her. She wanted to cry but she had learned how to stop that, she had learned many things. One thing she had always known, however, was to fake a smile. And so she did. She gave Ciel a soft smile, though the warmth didn't reach her eyes.

c i e l tal:He can see his fiance from the corner of her eye, shocked and probably angry, furious even. But he wipes the shocked look off his face and smiles back at her, Ciel figured she would learn this way, just like he had to learn. He extends his hand out, smiling at her, his eyes even colder then they were three years ago.

"Elizabeth." He glances at Alexandra, who has wiped off her angered expression, he extends his hand out to her after shaking Elizabeth's own hand so for once his fiance stood by his side. "I..." Missed you-- "...haven't seen you in a very long time, I thought you would be out of this city by now. It's nice to run into you again." The smile fades and he's back to his cold attitude, his wife seems to light up like a christmas tree at the news that he's back to himself.

He wishes he could smile.

"I'm not being polite though, my manners escaped me for a second. I'm just so shocked to see you again Elizabeth...Lizzie." He can't believe that slipped out and he just turns to look at his fiance once it does, not giving another glance at Elizabeth (but all he can see is green anyway so there really isn't a point). "Alexandra, this is my cousin Elizabeth Middleford, Elizabeth...this is my fiance."

If he wasn't Ciel, his world would shatter, if he wasn't Ciel then maybe his world would shake a bit. Somehow though, he's still standing as his fiance greets Elizabeth, with a super fake smile that they all have. "Elizabeth." He tears his wife away from the girl, no, all he wants to see is her. Her eyes were still beautiful, but they just didn't shine as much, and her hair...what did she do?
"If you would like, I would love to have dinner with you so we can have time to catch up." He smirks at the idea he gets next, his hand pulling away from his wife's, leaving her in the dust again. "In fact, Alexandra is going to try and find some clothes for the both of us, there's an important ball coming up that we have to host. We could go back and have some tea at my house, to catch up."

Ciel decided at that moment that he wasn't going to let her go again. His tone was so icy though, he didn't have any more heart left, he didn't know what words he was saying. She wouldn't agree and it would be too late, she would run away from him, run away as her parents found her a new fiance. He understands, her parents probably never mentioned him because of how much they couldn't forgive him to live their Lizzie all alone.

Yes, well, he couldn't forgive himself either.

l i z z i e :She wishes she could move away, run away, when he comes closer, when he holds out his hand to her. She takes it before pulling her hand back and clasping it with her other to hide the ring that he had given her so long ago. He would think it would be silly of her to still be wearing it, even after all these years, and maybe even surprised that it still fit. Or maybe that she still even had it. And she listens to him and watches him quietly, trying not to look at his new fiancee and ignoring the pain that was blossoming up from somewhere deep inside. Yes, he would have a new fiancee, he had to have one, she was dead after all, wasn't she?

At the mention of still being in the city, she wants to laugh and say "where else could I go?" but doesn't. Instead, she simply says, "Mama would through a fit if I moved too far away." and then wonders if she sounded to childish, if she could keep up the act that she used with her parents while with Ciel. It was getting hard but she didn't want him to see what she had become, she wanted to make him think that she was alright, that she was just the same and only had a few bumps in her life that she had gotten over.

When her attention was directed to the girl, when Ciel introduced her, Elizabeth gave her a warm smile. "It's very nice to meet you." though it really wasn't. Alexandra was pretty, she was probably the right kind of girl that belonged at Ciel's side, anyways. Not her, she could never be the right one, not now, not even before all of this had happened. She too childish, always dreaming of silly things and thinking only of herself. Instead of throwing parties and bothering Ciel with her silly games, she should have been at home, studying, doing something to be more useful as a wife. But it was too late for that. She shouldn't really dwell on it.

It's not like she could change it.

"Dinner...?" she parrots it, keeping her expression thoughtful. No. She couldn't do that, she couldn't go back to that house, she couldn't be with him. It was already making her stomach knot up with anxiety, her throat was already closing. -
She just wanted this meeting to be brief, she wanted him to know that she was alive but continue moving on with his life like it seemed he already has. She was nothing important, there was no reason for her to suddenly be thrown back into that life, to be thrown back to him.

"If it's alright with your... fiancee," she looks to Alexandra then back to Ciel, blinking innocently. She couldn't turn him down, could not disappoint him, either. And that was one thing that would never change...

c i e l tal:Ciel is just watching her with his usual observant eyes, he had gotten use to keeping his composure around his supposed dead, former fiancee (no matter how much he had beat it in his head--he didn't want to believe that what she was to him only a mere 10 minutes ago). She's different, of course she's very different. He can't believe the word Mama comes out of her mouth, because where had she been? Where had she been when her parents thought she was dead?

He doesn't want to know.

Maybe because he was there once too, once.

He clicks his tongue, almost annoyed with her mention of Alexandra (a woman he was not too fond of; this fiancee gave him power and that seems to be about it--maybe someone would kill her just like they supposedly killed Lizzie). "Oh."
His fiancee blinks, her composure is one that he would be proud of, one that he taught her how to master. Alexandra smiles (when he knows her, she's jealous just like every other supposed proper young lady out there), "We would love to have you for dinner Elizabeth, you're a relative of Ciel's which means you'll be apart of our family soon."

"Our family of three, Sebastian, me and Tanaka."

His fiancee glared and Ciel just smiled, "We shouldn't be talking about personal affairs around my cousin. Now, let's go find you whatever you please..." He glances at Lizzie, he smiles only with his eyes but keeps his composure the same. "Sebastian will have everything ready around 7:00pm, Alexandra will be sleeping by then--she likes to retire very early."

And with that, he turned away from her like nothing happened, like behind him there wasn't this obvious reminder that he failed to protect somebody that was (is) dear to him.

That's just how Ciel was though.

l i z z i e :It was only when Lizzie was back at the house her parents had bought for her in the city that her perfect, smiling facade began breaking. She was in her room, trying to tug off the ring, not wanting Ciel to notice it when she went to his house, not even wanting to wear it now that he had a new fiancee. And she shouldn't have been so surprised that he had one, she shouldn't have been so upset, but she was. And the ring just seemed so intent on staying on her finger when it would usually come off, as if it were mocking her. Tears were starting to well in her eyes and she twisted and tugged, trying not to think of Ciel, of Alexendra, of having to go back into that mansion and relive a bit of her old life. She didn't want to think about the innocent little girl she used to be, the one who wasn't aware of the cruelties of the world and was safe and sound in the comfort of her friends and family.

Giving up, she buried her face in her hands and tried to calm herself. Crying wouldn't do her any good, she would just have to bare with it, she would have to get it over with and that would be that. She could move again and hide somewhere else to distance herself from Ciel so he could live his life without her around to be a burden. She kept telling herself that she wouldn't do him any good now, that he was better off without her and, eventually, she stopped crying. And eventually she pulled herself together and got dressed. She was wearing her muted colors again, a dark blue dress that made her look more mature than it should have with black lace when she really wanted to wear the red dress she had been looking at before she bumped into Ciel. She had her hair pulled into a tight bun at the base of her neck with only her bangs and two loose curls framing her face.

The ride over to Ciel's house was probably the most nerve wrecking thing. She was playing with the ring anxiously now as she sat in the carriage, eyes focused on her lap as she tugged at the ring again, wishing she could get it off. She was thinking too much, thinking about how things could have been and how they should have been and how much she missed Ciel. -
And how it was going to hurt going back into his house, to be around him for too long and how she just wished that he hadn't even seen her. Her thoughts were a mess, her stomach was too, and when she looked up, the carriage had stopped in front of the familiar mansion.

She was let out and she walked slowly to the door, seeming in no hurry, and knocked once she was close enough. What a strange thing, she was so used to bounding in unannounced and excitedly talking about some party she wanted to have or the latest fashion she had bought or how she just wanted to see Ciel because "that's what fiancee's do!" But she had to stop thinking like that, she couldn't be seen looking upset. She slipped on her smiling mask, the one she was so used to wearing though she was getting scared that it would crumble any time now.

c i e l tal:He wasn't nervous.

Of course, Sebastian seemed more then a little amused at the idea of Elizabeth coming over to the house on Ciel's inivtation none the less. It wasn't something he commented on however, believing that Ciel really did care for Elizabeth, even now.

He wasn't nervous.

Ciel watched his servants intently as they prepared (and messed up) everything, rather then tending to his wife on the upper floor. His wife could survive without him surely enough, they didn't even sleep in the same bed together; he didn't understand what a little goodnight could do for her sleep (not that he even cared what it did for her sleep).

"How do you want it decorated young master?"

Ciel looked at Sebastian, glanced at him just once and sighed (he wasn't so young anymore). "Elizabeth isn't the same girl she used to be, just make sure it's a little above standard accomidations."

He wasn't nervous.

Elizabeth wasn't the same girl she used to be, sure she was smiling--but her hair wasn't up the way it used to be, her eyes weren't wide in curiosity and wonder. She used her hair to shield her eyes, which were no doubt trying hard to keep themselves closed. And the prospect of a new Lizzie (Elizabeth? What was he supposed to call her?) scared him, just a little bit.

But he was intrigued.

"I'll go get the door young master."

Ciel looks at his fingers, the final touch; to wear the wing he hadn't taken off in two years or to let his hands go bare?

Needless to say, there was no ring in the future when Elizabeth walked through the door.